Living a healthy relationship is a lifetime dream for most of us. At one point we all want to settle with the right person and experience love and relationships that last. But probably that never happens as relationships are bound to fail. So:
- Why do relationships fail?
- Does true relationship really exist?
Below are top ten major reasons why relationships fail and later, we will look at ways to handle possible causes of these failures and make you overcome the problem of unhealthy relationships.
Top 10 Major Reasons Why Relationships Fail
As couples continue walking the journey together, they start having changes in their expectations as they begin seeing their life plans as individuals not as couples.
Problems come in when elements that drew you together at the beginning like physical attraction, personality connections and sexual passion starts fading away and realities of everyday life comes in.
According to Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera Ph.D, “exceedingly high expectations can be hard to satisfy, and if we don’t adjust what we expect from our marriage to reflect reality, we run the risk of being continually disappointed’’
Trust forms a foundation for lasting relationships and in its absence there is a likelihood of bad relationship due to development of sense of insecurity.
Mistrust is harmful to long term success and causes breakages of many families because factors associated with it like possessiveness, jealousy and absence of emotional support.
It is advisable you find the root cause and address it as soon as possible least it ruins your relationship.
Different families experience different problems and challenges and so family life is never a walk in the park. One fundamental aspect that keeps people moving despite these relationship huddles is communication.
According to Elly Prior, “effective communication is at the heart of every relationship” She further says that if you get your communication right, you are likely to make a great start to a happy marriage.
Moving Through Life at Different Speeds
People grow and mature at different rates. When one partner starts advancing rapidly either career wise or social wise while the other seems to be stagnating, there arises relational divergence, which often results into intellectual, social and even physical differences. They end up being incompatible, followed with break-ups.
Money itself does not break up families. The longer a family has been staying together, the higher the possibility of financial incompatibility and problems arise when a couple fails to address fundamental issues associated with it, given that has their own budgets, debts and spending patterns.
Problems of Abuse
Any form of abuse is never acceptable in a relationship. Whether verbal, physical, sexual or emotional, it is often seen as one partner trying to degrade the other, and a continuous pattern often leads to broken relationships.
- Also Read – How to Tell if Your Husband is Lying to You
This is because it causes threat to family happiness and since most couples never open up and seek professional counseling, they end up separating.
Lack of Mutual Commitment
Relationships work perfectly when both partners are equally committed and involved in running of their relationship.
Everyone desires to be with someone who fundamentally wants the same things as they do and most often, when one seems to be more involved than the other, there arises an aspect of “growing apart” which may lead to lack of compatibility and mutual connection resulting into separation.
This mostly arises for couples who are engaged in long distance relationships.
True love relationships exist when couples create time for each other or engage in physical intimacy, which are necessities in running a relationship.
Lack of it can result into emotional withdrawal, emotional incompatibility and unmet emotional expectations.
Lack of Positive Family and Friends Support
Family members can somehow influence the behavior of your partner. Whenever a problem arises between you and your partner, you will most probably need shoulders to lean on.
When they seem not to care about your relationship, your consolation is put in jeopardy as there will be no place for you to express your feelings and seek emotional support.
Your partner may take advantage of this situation and instead of creating relationship based on trust and love, fear and vulnerability will tend to dominate.
Infidelity and Sexual Problems
Sex is an important element and a necessity in marriage. It is a number one killer of most relationships and should a partner compromise his or her fidelity by engaging in extramarital affairs, he or she should take necessary actions to restore the relationship.
If there is failure of consummation through sexual intercourse, there is both emotional detachment and instability.
How to Save a Failed Relationship
Every relationship has its better and worst times. Time to time arguments never lack even from the seemingly perfect couples.
It is a normal occurrence in marriage life, and the only difference is how these problems are handled.
The following are some of the actions you can take and experience a good relationship with your partner.
- To solve the problem of communication, make an appointment with each other. Be candid and passionate about your marriage problems and let your spouse feel you. During this time, you should try to keep off from any form of distraction, switch off your cell phones and if necessary go to a quiet place. As you communicate, try not to raise your voice at each other and never interrupt when one is talking. Communication solves almost all relationship problems, and before you rush for marriage counseling, before you think of other solutions to your problems, think of enhancing you communication.
- Learn to plan. This applies to both time and finances. Create time for your family and never bring office work home. Be that husband who prepares dinner for family on weekends, takes his wife out and play outdoor games with the family. Be honest about your financial situation and come up with a realistic budget and spending pattern.
- The problem of infidelity can be solved if underlying causes are properly addressed. Learn to feel your partner and bring back that vibrant romance you had at your early stages of relationship. If you cannot find proper solutions to your marital problems, then you should seek the help of qualified sex therapist to offer you relationship counseling.
- Be clear on your roles and responsibility. This will help address the problem of blame games and create a spirit of mutual commitment and goal attainment in the family.
- If you cannot find amicable solution to your problems, seek couples counseling services though this should be treated as the last resort.