“Until Death Do Us Part.” This is the promise couples make to each other in front of friends and family on their wedding day. Unfortunately, not all live up to their end of the bargain.
Divorce is rampant in the country. Over the last one and a half decades, there have been over 200,000 divorces and annulments every year. Sadly, a time comes when separation is the only way to happiness.
Are you in a marriage that’s not working out? Are you worried it may be time to throw in the towel and separate with your spouse?
Going through a divorce is emotionally exhausting. However, staying in a failing marriage is worse. If your relationship is on the rocks, saying goodbye may be the only option.
Keep reading to find out our top divorce signs so you can prepare yourself for a future without your spouse.
9 Looming Divorce Signs
Your Partner is a Serial Cheater
Cheating is detrimental to the stability of a marriage. The spouse who’s cheated on feels inadequate, bitter, and may develop low self-esteem. This gets worse if one’s partner is a serial cheater who has multiple sexual partners outside the marriage.
If your partner is always cheating on you, it may be time to call it quits. Look out for signs of infidelity such as emotional detachment, defensiveness, too much time at “work” and apparent signs such as messages and calls.
Cheating has numerous effects on marriage and family. The unfaithful spouse can contract sexually transmitted diseases and infect their partner. STDs leave the faithful party bitter towards their cheating spouse.
If a cheating partner isn’t ready to change, it means they don’t value the marriage enough to respect and keep their vows. It is in your best interest to file for a divorce.
Little or No Intimacy
Sexual intimacy is a crucial aspect of any marriage. Studies show intimacy leads to enhanced sexual satisfaction which in turn bears the sexual afterglow. A thriving sex life improves the bond between couples and promotes happiness in a marriage.
When there is little or no sexual intimacy in a marriage, the bond between the couples starts to break. Lack of intimacy can be due to various factors such as:
- Putting sexual needs over other issues such as kids and career growth
- A diminishing emotional connection
Talk to your partner about reviving intimacy in your marriage. You can suggest ways of spending quality time together to restore the connection. However, if you are unable to work out the problem and rekindle the sexual fire in the relationship, divorce may be imminent.
Abuse and Violence
No one should stay in a physically abusive marriage. Unfortunately, many individuals suffer in the hands of abusive spouses. Of all the women who are physically abused by an intimate partner, two-thirds of them are sexually assaulted by the same partner.
Partners who are violent and abusive can inflict physical and emotional wounds on their spouses. Some even end up killing their partners or turning the violence towards the kids.
If you are in a physically abusive relationship, you need to walk out of the relationship immediately. Also, find a divorce lawyer who can help you to file a restraining order against the abusive spouse.
If you have children, their safety may be at risk. Talk to your attorney about getting temporary child custody as you file for a divorce.
Marriage works when the two parties have an emotional connection, trust, mutual understanding, and respect for each other. When these things are lacking, the union can easily crumble.
Once one party detaches emotionally from their partner, they become distant. They no longer care for the physical or emotional need of their spouse. The partners stop spending quality time with each other.
The neglected party starts to develop feelings of suspicion and mistrust towards their partner. They can even begin to spy on the other party to look for signs of lies or infidelity.
If you are in such a relationship where you or your partner are emotionally detached, chances are you no longer find meaning in being with each other. Unless you address and fix the emotional drift, the marriage won’t last.
Counseling No Longer Works
When you and your partner are unable to work out issues, talking to a counselor is always the best option. A professional marriage therapist helps you resolve the issues and rebuild your marriage.
However, there are times when marital counseling doesn’t work. One partner may resist therapy or fail to resolve issues even after getting help.
It takes two willing individuals to make a marriage work. If you don’t agree, the unresolved issues will continue to cause mistrust, disagreements, and contempt among yourselves. Divorce becomes the only way to break the cycle of conflict.
Substance Abuse in a Marriage
Drug abuse is one of the most challenging issues to address in a marriage. The sober couple is torn between helping their partner and protecting the family from the effects of drug abuse.
Most addicts misuse family resources on gambling, alcohol, prescription drugs, or illicit substances. If you aren’t careful, you can quickly sink in debt and lose your investments.
For you to work on substance abuse in marriage, the addict has to be willing to get help. If your partner rejects addiction treatment, you’ll be forced to put up with the addiction or leave.
Unfortunately, living with an addict who’s unwilling to get sober will have dire financial and emotional implications. Your marriage won’t survive this blow. It’s best to walk away before you lose all you have to drug addiction.
Are you always getting divorce fantasies? Are you constantly thinking about life without your current partner? If so, you may be already emotionally prepared to part ways.
Individuals in happy marriages don’t fantasize about separation and divorce. Thus, if your relationship isn’t working, you may subconsciously be preparing for a life as a single person.
You could have started taking steps towards securing your future as a single entity. These include the following:
- Opening a secret bank account and hiding money
- Looking up apartments or houses
- Unofficially dropping your partner’s name
- Declining to buy joint properties with your partner
You’re ready for divorce is you are entertaining the thought and taking these steps. Talk to an attorney and initiate the separation. Check out this page to learn the steps to take to get a divorce plus the available legal options.
Focus on Issues Outside the Marriage
One common sign of impending divorce is when you or your partner pay attention to issues outside the marriage. You have time for anything else except each other. Some of the areas people tend to focus on include:
- The children
- Work and career
- Friends and family
- A newly found hobby
An individual uses these things as excuses not to spend time with their spouse. In some cases, the diversion of attention is unintentional. One may be trying hard to build a career without realizing they are neglecting their partner.
If you or your spouse are focusing on other issues other than each other, your marriage is in trouble. Unless you talk about this problem and address it, you may be headed for divorce.
More Cons Than Pros in the Marriage
Are you not sure whether to stay in your marriage or get a divorce? Why not create a list of pros and cons?
List down all the good and bad things about your marriage. Include things you like and dislike about your partner as well. If the list of cons outweighs the pros, your marriage will most likely end in divorce.
When the bad outweighs the good, it means the relationship is crumbling. You can talk to your partner about your concerns and recommend counseling.
If you leave the issues unaddressed, they will cause strife in the relationship and ultimately push you to divorce.
What to Do After Seeing these Divorce Signs
The presence of divorce signs in your marriage doesn’t always mean you have to separate. If you haven’t sought marriage counseling, do so immediately. Encourage your partner to come along so you can work on the problems together.
However, if the signs persist after the professional intervention, the marriage may be beyond repair. Getting divorced is the only way to attain peace and happiness
Consult a divorce lawyer and initiate the process. You can use collaborative means such as arbitration and mediation. These avenues help in preserving the relationship between both parties and avoiding publicity.
However, if these two techniques don’t work due to conflicts involving child custody or property division, the court can rule your divorce. Your attorney will walk you through the court process.
Unsure of Divorce? Believe the Signs
Are you uncertain of whether to work on your marriage or call it quits? Watch out for these divorce signs. While getting a divorce may take a toll on your emotions, it’s better than staying in a failed relationship.
Talk to a divorce attorney, and they will help you choose the most suitable option to end your marriage. They’ll also safeguard your interests in matters of child custody and property division.
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